Don't force your client, don't abandon your client

Meeting Your Clients Where They're At

I just got back from teaching Fractal Inquiry in the Bay, and it was a great time. I was grateful to meet some folks from my digital life in person for the first time, and to break bread with some dear old friends.

We were discussing techniques for helping people explore their journeys and their lives at a deeper level, and someone asked a great question: "What if you're asking deep questions, and the client just doesn't want to go there? What if they are more comfortable staying on the surface?"

I think the answer to that is easy enough: we let them stay on the surface. We can't force awakening. We don't judge the client's desires or their capacity, at least we hope we don't. I field a lot of questions coming from coaches who get frustrated that their clients can't or won't see something they feel is obvious. But we all have our blind spots, the tender vulnerabilities that we protect. I know what it's like to be confronted with harsh truths, both in and out of ceremony. It makes me want to be gentle, and I counsel folks to do the same. Meet them where they are at, happily, patiently. Enjoy the process. Even if, as a coach, we sometimes worry we aren't doing enough to get them there, there is nowhere to go. We have to let go of our need for anyone to be different than they are. There is no hurry to wisdom. Enlightenment is inevitable.

But I don't see this all that much, to be honest. I mentor coaches from time to time, and part of that process includes watching recorded coaching calls and workshopping them. Most people don't push too hard, they actually let too much go.

I do think there is something to this idea of the Inner Healing Intelligence. From what I've seen, we have instinctual urges towards wholeness. We desperately want to be seen and known. And even when we have sophisticated strategies of evasion and protection, we still leave breadcrumb paths to the parts of us that need love, healing, and acknowledgment.

Even when we're dancing around an issue, attempting to skate on the surface of our lives, we drop little hints to what's really going on. In the middle of blaming someone else, or describing something banal, we slide in a sentence or two that will give an incisive coach an entry point into a deeper way of looking at the situation. We'll mention our longing, our confusion, or our understanding about how we are complicit in our suffering. We're hoping and praying this confession will lead to some kind of resolution.

All too often, I see coaching avoiding these opportunities. They don't see them, they don't know how to handle them, or they themselves are afraid to go deep. They ascribe their own fear and resistance to the deepening of the relationship to the client. They let themselves off the hook. And as a result, they've abandoned their client. Our job is to point out the elephant in the room. This is why the client showed up in the first place. To look under the bed, to clean out the closet, to pay attention to the man behind the curtain. We must be brave and curious, when we embody bravery and curiosity, we model it for the client. It's a leap of faith. It's worth it.

"Nature Loves Courage" - Terence McKenna

That said, I'm really proud of all the students who practiced finding that curiosity and courage this weekend. They are an amazing group of coaches, guides, and healers.

Just something a little tender

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Offerings

Winter Coaching Training

In January, our six-month Coaching Training begins.

This intensive program covers everything you need to know to skillfully guide a client from preparation through integration. We work with mindfulness, somatics, and deep inquiry to help clients prepare for psychedelic experiences by understanding their intentions, working with the habitual patterns that keep them stuck, and lovingly confronting their shadow parts. You'll learn how to support integration, helping clients make meaning from their intense experiences and bring what they learn into daily life.

We cover client intake, scope of practice, ceremony, ethical space holding, and varieties of spiritual support. Alongside the coaching work, we cover building a practice, developing your offers, and having responsible conversations with potential clients.

Students learn active listening, the art of powerful questions, and practices for grounding, support and emotional regualtion. You'll feel confident in your ability to make good, ethical choices in your sessions and develop a way of working that creates lasting change and is truly integrative.

There is a free info session about the training on Thursday, November 12th at 3pm Eastern. Register Here:

​https://www.eventbrite.com/e/mt-tam-psychedelic-integration-coaching-training-info-call-tickets-2003975014213?aff=oddtdtcreator&keep_tld=true​

Here is the landing page for the training: https://tamintegration.com/psychedelic-coach-training/​

Integration Circles

Open Circles on the 1st and 3rd Mondays of the month. They will be at 3pm Eastern, Noon Pacific.

Women's Circles, every Thursday at 9pm Eastern, 6pm Pacific

You can join here: https://sqr.co/tamcircle/​

~ The Golden Road - Mentorship, Peer Support, Supervision, and Skill Building for Serious Psychonauts and Healing Professionals

The Golden Road has evolved into a wonderful group of practitioners.

We meet every Thursday at noon eastern.

There is also a large archive (over 200 hours) of psychedelic education and past talks.

The wonderful people who show up share not only their journeys, but the journeys of those they steward. It's become a place of learning, support, accountability, and peer review. Folks are learning some things from me, but they are also learning from each other. We all face unique challenges as we work in this space, and it's great to have a place where we can bring them for non-judgmental feedback and reflection. You're invited. Click here to join​

Golden Road is a group of coaches and guides that are growing their practices and coming together in the spirit of personal and professional peer support. You also get some teaching and Q&A with yours truly. The main group meeting is Thursdays at noon Eastern. Here's the link to that.​

Coaching Training info Session November 12th, 3pm Eastern Learn More

Trip Sitting for Friends and Family Pre-recorded course, forever access Learn More

Disclaimer

Nothing in this email should be considered medical or legal advice. We're not suggesting that you break any laws or do anything dangerous. This email is offered as education and entertainment in the spirit of harm reduction. Consult medical and legal professionals if you have questions.

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